Friday, February 27, 2009

stinkin cute

I sent Jon this picture of Owen today and his response was "You've got him in regular clothes!!!" (with all three exclamation points because he was that excited).

Now, I have been dressing the poor child.  He's been in all types of infant sleepwear, from footed pjs to darling sleeping sacks.  But no onesies until today.  No pants either.  

We have all this cute little clothing in the dresser...I just didn't want him to wear them.  And I think I've traced it back to a bad case (just ask my wonderful, super understanding mother-in-law) of baby blues after Owen was born.  Not only did I cry over pretty much everything  ("look how beautiful that cloud is...sniff, sniff") but one sure fire way to get me going was to mention Owen growing up.  Why does he need to grow up?  He's so perfect and tiny right now.  Somehow "regular" clothes were symbolic of him growing up.  Yeah - it's just a onesie...but to me that was totally pushing it.  What's next, a studded leather jacket?  Button up shirts with ties?

Now that I've emerged (am emerging) from the weepy haze of early motherhood I'm seeing that even though I'd love to keep him at this stage - there is WAY more value in him growing up.  I love cuddling him but I'll love watching him impact his world even more.  I love his tiny nose but more than that I need him to grow up in wisdom and maturity - to become a man worth emulating (like his dad).  After all...if you're still changing diapers at 25 it's not so cute anymore.  

So bring on the regular clothes.  But that's not going to stop me from cuddling him any time soon.  

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sleep Walking

This afternoon Owen did not want to sleep.  He was fighting it hard.  I'd rock and his little eyelids would droop and then pop wide open.  I gave his forehead a baby massage and got 'this close' to putting him out.  He was even impervious to the bottom patting (my great grandmother's secret weapon apparently).   This kid was tough.  He finally started fussing a bit and I was about to resort to the ultimate baby sleep inducer - food.

As I stood up and walked over to change his diaper first I noticed he calmed down.  I had literally walked five steps and he had fallen asleep.  

Later, Angela brought Liam over to go for a walk with us.  Again, Owen made it about five steps past the door before he was out.

As we walked and talked, something Ang said reminded me of how, even as adults, we can sometimes fight the very thing that we really need.   Sometimes we honestly don't realize it's what we need and sometimes we are just plain stubborn.   I've gone around and around before - doing everything except the thing I know I need to.

Apparently Owen is like me...going for walks really helps clear our minds and get our priorities straight.  

Saturday, February 21, 2009

And now...a bit of random

I've resolved that not every blog post will be about Owen.  Only 99.5% of them.  But I'm ok with adding a picture of him to every post - even if it has no relation to the story.  So let's just get that out of the way.  

He's so wonderful.  sigh.

Jon is really going back to work this week.  I say really because last week there was a holiday, he worked from home two days, and he came home early another day, and my parents were here for a few days.  We both need to ease into this separation thing.  

Having family here helped distract me from the fact that my best friend was now not within arms reach.  We kept pretty busy...going to IKEA, Home Depot, TJs (fyi: that's Trader Joe's), and doing all manner of home improvement.  Like hanging these beautiful yellow curtains.  And finally finishing the tile in the mini-hall.  (Thanks Dad!!!)

Next week there are no guarantees of such productivity.  

But we will do our best.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Thoughts on Fatherhood: New Dad Syndrome

Yep, I've got it pretty bad.  From the first moment I laid eyes on our little Owen, something happened inside.  I heard a lot of people say the same thing but it never really hit home the dramatic effect having your own child has.  In fact, the first time I laid eyes on him I couldn't think for about 1 minute.  My mind went blank... like I was rebooting... and when I came back 'online', things were different.

I often sit up with him at night and just watch him sleep... praying silently over him... for protection, for grace, for wisdom, for strength to live in these times... and I'm overcome with this great sense of love, responsibility and joy.  He has so much in front of him... great joy, probably some pain, victories and defeats... every possible curve ball that life can throw at you, I'm sure.

But I also know that I'm going to be there with him through it all.  To pick him up, dust him off, give him a solid pep talk... or a stern talking-to when necessary.  But I'll be there for him... make no mistake about it.  

No one can tell you what it means to be a father... words don't do it justice.  But my boy will know he has a father... both here on earth and one in heaven.  I will show him both.

So glad he's finally here!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Before and After

On the morning after I went into labor I figured it was my last chance to get a final pod pic.  Coincidently it was also Sunday - our pod pic day!  So voila!  Here is the week 40 and very final picture of me pregnant.  A mere 14 hours later little Owen was...


I still can't believe he fit in there.  

Friday, February 6, 2009

Oh my heart is so full

Owen Henry Phillips
February 1st, 2009
at 10:23 pm

After a long, wonderful day.

I love, love, love, love, love him.