News from the Front: Assassination Attempt!

I write to you today with a thankful heart for some fast thinking by our security forces.  Apparently upset with my on-the-ground and incisive field reporting, the BE Brigade special forces sent an assassin to silence me.

As you can see from the fuzzy picture below, this image was captured either shortly before or after my coffee cup was poisoned.  

 

While I normally plunged head-long into my vital morning cup of joe, our friendly and vigilant security forces were able to prevent the plot from being successful.  

While it is difficult to fully describe the situation, you can see a similar reenactment in the video below.

The Office - Fax to the Future | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

Grateful to still be reporting to you here on the front.  

HPV Field Reporter JP

News from the Front: Infiltration

The past week has seen significant successes in the FSDB campaign.  With the Office crew pushed to their limits in manpower and logistics, the 'upper management' was able to call in a key third party to provide air superiority support.  Code-named "MR. ORKIN", this well-known mercenary came in under cover of dark to surprise the BE Brigade with an attack that resulted in ghastly damages.

However, it appears they may be regrouping.  Latest iPhone intel imagery has spotted reconnaissance elements surveying our most precious instruments.

They were identified attempting to tap into our communications...

Potential saboteur activity was seen attempting to cut our power lines...

They've become so bold as to enter into our command post (unfortunately for this fellow, he was not able to transmit his gathered intel before meeting an untimely demise).

The biggest question remaining to our commanders is whether these infiltrators are just the sole survivors of the MR. ORKIN assault or the indicators of a much larger, reinforced BE Bridge offensive.

HPV field reporter JP will be here to bring you the latest updates as they happen.

News from the Front

FlySwatDemBugs Patriots...

HPV field reporter JP reporting in.  The past 24 hours have yielded some promising gains for the FSDB warriors.  Though we've been under intense siege, our newly employed "LightsOut" operation has seen some reversals to yesterdays advances made by the Bravo-Echo brigade.  

A warning to the weak stomach, the latest imagery below is graphic.  War is ugly, my friends. 

Viewer discretion is advised. 

Sgt. R (names are protected to maintain our intel officer's identities) claims this is one of the B-E brigades field generals.  If this proves to be true, it could be a significant blow to their cause. 

Our ground troops have been fortified from central command with more advanced weaponry...

While all this is promising, latest intel imagery suggest we should not be over-jubilant in our outlook...

Yes, that is correct... they have brought in the dreaded mercenary Stink Bug.  Doubly dangerous due to its reinforced armor and its well-known toxic bio-chemical warfare gas that is released upon death.  This development could turn the tide in the B-E brigades favor.

However, our generals are planning their own counter-attack... view our secret weapon!

That's right, the namaqua chameleon!!  Victory is ours!!!

That is all... for now.

NEWS FLASH!: Mass Fly-Swatting Proves Ineffectual

This just in... recently declassified iPhone imagery shows that the office campaign, code-named "FlySwatDemBugs!", has apparently proven ineffectual.  As we can see from the imagery below, the Bravo-Echo (Box Elder) brigade invaders have infiltrated the defensive perimeter and are now moving in to take more territory. 

As you can see from the imagery that is dated with today's date, we have engaged the invaders in close-quarters combat.  I have already had to repel three separate attackers who appeared intent on seizing my keyboard.  In fact, as I write this very article, I am ducking and dodging 'bombing raids" on my current position.  

In a stroke of fortune, our intelligence corps may have found their ultimate target.  They are attracted to the heat of our desk lamps.

With this invaluable intel, we can surely mount a decisive (albeit much darker) counter-attack in short order.

This reporter wishes you all god-speed and, if you do not hear from me again for any reason, know that I have sacrificed committed to the good fight.

Onward "FlySwatDemBugs!" patriots!!!

- HPV (Highpointview) Field reporter, JP

Box Elder Invasion!

Recently at work, box elder bugs have invaded my work space.  They seem to come in through the walls and ceiling in droves.  Whether to escape the cold or just because they like the heat of my monitor, it's rather unnerving to have these little critters crawling all over the place.

Every once in a while, one will peak over my monitor and just stare at me for a few moments.  It's a little creepy.

They've gotten so bad that one of my co-workers bought a fly-swatter to deal with them.

This is the sad little 'graveyard'...

Just a moment of silence for our little invaders... JP