Reborn

Having  a baby changes a lot of things.  

My photo library was once neatly arranged by event, each one different and represented by a carefully chosen icon of the contained images - a flower, a smiling friend, a family portrait from last Christmas, a captured sunset, the cats, a meal we made, etc.  If you just looked at the icon pictures, my library would have appeared varied and interesting.  

Now the 'events' aren't very clear.  They're actually more like days of the week.  And the images chosen to represent each 'event' are pretty much all the same.  Scanning through is like watching a slideshow with daily pictures of Owen.  Pretty much him growing up in slow motion. 

But I love it.  

BB (That's before-baby) I always thought that I'd quickly be yearning for the stimulation of work.  I thought three months away would turn my brain to mush.  Plus I have a great job - pretty awesome actually that I couldn't really imagine leaving.  

AB (yep after-baby) I noticed that something had rewired my brain.  I actually love being at home with Owen.  Granted, it's only been three months (almost), but he's so easy and fun (gosh - should I say that?).  We sing and dance and cuddle and play.  He still gives me long stretches of time, while he's napping or playing by himself, in which I've gotten long-postponed projects done.  But more than anything - I find being a mom wonderful.  

Yesterday I actually thought..."tomorrow is Monday - YAY!"  

Ok - I'm not saying that I won't ever go back to work.  I plan on going back in part time starting in a few weeks.  My point is just that I'm different now.  I don't know how or the extent of it all, but for me, become a mother was like a new me being unveiled.  New parts of my personality are emerging, old ones are different.  Talents are emerging, new loves, new likes, new hopes and dreams.  It's like I have to get to know myself all over again.  (Seriously - apparently I don't die if I get less than 8 hours of sleep - who knew?)

I knew I was giving birth to a new life...I just didn't realize that new life would be mine.