Saturday, May 16, 2009

Thoughts on Fatherhood: Avoiding the "TNM"

You may be wonder what "TNM" stands for.  It's a "Thermal Nuclear Meltdown".  What does it have to do with fatherhood... well, let me explain.

I recently learned a valuable lesson.  There are a very few things that will upset Owen.  Occurring separately, they are easy to deal with and the period of upset is rather sort, if not non-existent.  The key triggers are simple to identify (in order of precedence):
  1. 1) Hungry
  2. 2) Tired
  3. 3) A 'poopis' diaper
However, there are those rare times... the perfect storm, if you will... when those three triggers happen all at once.  Usually to an aware parent, these situations are relatively easy to identify and avert well in advance.  But for the still-wet-behind-the-ears dad (such as myself), it can be a dangerous trap to fall into.

Seeing as how Owen is still relatively young, I've gotten very few chances to hang with my boy without mom somewhere close by to help identify the 'clues' and/or step in before the TNM happens.  But the other day, I boldly ventured out with Owen on my own to hang out some of the guys for Akin's bachelor 'lime' (FYI: lime is a Trini term that is loosely defined as "hanging out", but that is too simple a definition for the complexity of the word and I don't have the time to weigh you down with the full definition in this post - maybe later).

Anyways, Mr. Owen was a picture of contentedness and good behavior... and patience.  He appeared to know very well that Super-mom was not nearby so he was cutting dad some slack on taking care of the above triggers.  Slow-witted pops had an inkling that some of these triggers needed attention, but did not take immediate action.

But then it happened... the TNM in full effect.

After a frantic and tumultuous passage of indeterminate time, and much exasperated sweating and soothing by dad, Owen was finally fixed up and asleep.  But here are my lessons learned from the whole ordeal...
  1. 1) When you sense that a bottle/feeding is needed, move heaven and earth to make it happen.  As our chiropractor friend advised me, even an armpit is a good way to warm a bottle.  Essentially, guys fix problems... be innovative and get the job done.  Don't be stupid.
  2. 2) Keep your cool.  When the stress kicks in, it's not going to do you or the child any good to panic.  Just take care of the triggers in order of precedence and everything will return to normal... you just may need a bit of tear wiping (and a de-stressing nap for dad afterwards).
  3. 3) Learn from your mistakes.  As someone joked while the TNM was happening full-scale... "I bet this is the last time you make that mistake."  Well said.
So that's the TNM and that's my story.  I guess it boils down to one simple rule for dad, "Don't be stupid."  

Sometimes that's harder than it looks.

(P.S. Emily may make me replace that picture above... so enjoy the effect while you can) * smile *

1 comment:

  1. Sigh - it happens to moms too! And, as they get older, the same triggers (minus diaper issues after potty training) can lead to even bigger explosions. (Our house is not a pleasant place to be at 5:00 pm on days Sarah doesn't nap.)

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