This just in... recently declassified iPhone imagery shows that the office campaign, code-named "FlySwatDemBugs!", has apparently proven ineffectual. As we can see from the imagery below, the Bravo-Echo (Box Elder) brigade invaders have infiltrated the defensive perimeter and are now moving in to take more territory.
As you can see from the imagery that is dated with today's date, we have engaged the invaders in close-quarters combat. I have already had to repel three separate attackers who appeared intent on seizing my keyboard. In fact, as I write this very article, I am ducking and dodging 'bombing raids" on my current position.
In a stroke of fortune, our intelligence corps may have found their ultimate target. They are attracted to the heat of our desk lamps.
With this invaluable intel, we can surely mount a decisive (albeit much darker) counter-attack in short order.
This reporter wishes you all god-speed and, if you do not hear from me again for any reason, know that I have sacrificed committed to the good fight.
Onward "FlySwatDemBugs!" patriots!!!
- HPV (Highpointview) Field reporter, JP
Oh my gosh Jon...I was laughing LOUD after every line. God speed dear husband. Be careful...I can't imagine what I would do if you were captured. ;)
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